"Chocolate" - By Liana Afuni

My newly written personal monologue, about chocolate:

So delicious. Nothing makes me happier than chocolate. And I mean nothing, not even coming to class today. A piece of chocolate doesn’t have an opinion of me, it won’t talk back to me, it doesn’t object to being harassed, it usually comes packaged nicely, and it tastes damn good! Sounds like it embodies the perfect man I never had! And the great thing about chocolate, is that it is international: white, dark, milk - So it will never end up on the news on charges of racial discrimination. And it’s weird with chocolate, because unlike with humans, it’s usually the cheaper ones that are the most delicious and attractive, at least to me! I mean, you can get away with being found with a cheap piece of chocolate, but society sure will be talking if you are caught with a prostitute - Just see Elliot Spitzer. Also, Chocolate is not like a cheap piece of furniture that you will have to see everyday just to remind you of how poor you are. Nope, you can just eat it in a split second, and it’s no longer there to remind you, and therefore it won’t matter whether you were rich or poor. It really doesn’t matter who and what you are when it comes to chocolate. You can even channel your inner violence when it comes time to eating it. You can bite into it just like a vampire, enjoy the aftertaste, and feel the power overcome you. And for that, i love biting into chocolate, especially those with the hard nuts in them - Oh Sorry. My dentist can take care of the damage later, or a dick doctor, depending on how you felt about that last statement. No really, where do men go when they have problems with their dick?